....

i miss you guys... all of you..

pixiedust.... is it of worth to anyone anymore these days?

it's funny how the heck i'm able to ask this question, knowing that i'm tinkerbell....

well, not to some people i know...

nobody calls me 'Tricco' nowadays... it's either they call me Trix, Triccy, Yumul, that sort..

nikkey san juan was one person who got to force her way with ease into the now non-existent social wall, simply by calling me Tricco.. now i'm not saying that there was a thing, no, but it was a different kind of friendship we had.. sure, bonding moments were there, as is the case for all friends, but what made it special is its simplicity.. it was a high time for me, knowing that this person was an open book, and would openly talk about her daughter, in all her cuteness..

things changed..

Triccy (9/16/2005 10:52:17 PM): so what's up? iread sumthn n ur blog....
Triccy (9/16/2005 10:52:24 PM): *i read
Nikkey (9/16/2005 10:52:59 PM): which blog?
Triccy (9/16/2005 10:53:06 PM): tblog
Nikkey (9/16/2005 10:53:20 PM): which one?
Triccy (9/16/2005 10:53:42 PM): it rly alarmed me, what i read
Nikkey (9/16/2005 10:54:09 PM): i know
Triccy (9/16/2005 10:54:34 PM): you saw my commrnt did you?
Nikkey (9/16/2005 10:55:10 PM): yep
Triccy (9/16/2005 10:55:31 PM): i couldnt believe it....
Nikkey (9/16/2005 10:56:36 PM): i couldnt either
Triccy (9/16/2005 10:58:19 PM): idk if this is gna help, but, i cried hard after reading....
Nikkey (9/16/2005 10:58:30 PM): why?
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:00:01 PM): cuz you're my best friend... and after what ive seen you go through then and now, it just shatters me to see you in such pain...
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:01:30 PM): pero, ala na rin ako magawa... kc andyan na eh...
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:01:44 PM): hayyy
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:01:47 PM): ill be ok
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:01:50 PM): eventually
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:02:20 PM): i know...
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:02:32 PM): pero kaw na rin nagsabi na tis gonna be hard....
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:02:42 PM): and i see that too clearly...
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:02:52 PM): i miss him
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:02:55 PM): so much
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:03:02 PM): i know...

if i had the chance to i'd drop by at her house to just say hello... pero ndi pde eh.. i know... it pains me to see my best friend in such pain.. if i could only turn time back i would.. but alas, i can't.. i don't have the power to...

Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:03:33 PM): how ru?
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:03:35 PM): what's new?
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:04:01 PM): eto.. im gonna lunch out with Inez and Kim at 12 after ACET...
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:04:45 PM): how's she?
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:05:57 PM): super busy in school, along with the whole neverland peeps.... kaya nga i moved my bday treat for them sa sembreak eh....

birthday.... onga pala noh? malapit na sept26.. im turning 17 already.. another year has ended, and a new addition shall arise... and im glad to know im spending it with friends... the most important friends....

Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:06:14 PM): oo nga pla bday mo!
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:06:19 PM): sorry i forgot
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:06:27 PM): grabe one yr na pla nakalipas
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:06:36 PM): no, it's okay... naiintindihan ko naman eh... no worries...

if you knew what nix is going through right now malilimutan mo na magtampo dahil nakalimot cya na bday mo.. but that's never been a problem with me.. i always try to see things from all angles... it's been one year since ive been on my first date.. yeah, nikkey was my first date, though not my girlfriend.. in fact it was the day before my bday eh... sept25.. we watched "The Terminal," ate at Mcdo, went to Jzone, and spend the whole time after just walking around Ortigas until my mum arrived..

Triccy (9/16/2005 11:07:02 PM): to tell you the truth you're the one person i wanna spend my bday with... lalo na this year..
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:07:29 PM): i mean, hello! you've been practically non-exixtent in Jzone since like forever!
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:08:02 PM): and on top of that, talagang namimiss na kita..
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:09:04 PM): i know
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:09:28 PM): i miss u too
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:09:29 PM): those bonding days

no offense to you guys pero... the kind of friendship nix and i shared is the kind that my dad had with my ninong way back, even if dad wasn't my ninong's best friend, which is the only difference...

Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:09:33 PM): shoot trix i gtg
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:09:51 PM): shucks naman....
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:09:59 PM): ok.. you go nix....
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:10:03 PM): isa lang pakiusap ko...
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:10:17 PM): please be there next week.. it's the 24th...
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:10:35 PM): text me a day before and on the day
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:11:11 PM): ok... but please please please make it... im treating Molly, Jobim, and two other friends... please make it talaga....
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:11:21 PM): lunch pla to btw..
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:11:35 PM): alright
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:11:39 PM): ill gotthere after work

a time too many to recall i find myself distracted during the messages at Jzone cuz i always held on to her promise one time that she'll go.. this was during the time that she's started working na.. masakit din minsan.. pero ok lang... i hafta understand.. right?

Triccy (9/16/2005 11:11:51 PM): ok...
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:12:04 PM): ok bye
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:12:17 PM): yeah... you take care.. as in really take care aryt?
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:12:20 PM):
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:12:51 PM): i will
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:12:54 PM): pls pary for me
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:13:01 PM): will do.. will definitely do..
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:13:19 PM): alright i really gtg now
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:13:23 PM): k..
Triccy (9/16/2005 11:13:26 PM): i love you old friend
Nikkey (9/16/2005 11:13:34 PM): wuvv u too

there's no hiding the fact that i love all my friends.. especially those in my inner circle.. you know who you are guys.. you may come from Jzone, school, the lunch bunch, Neverland... i love you guys, and you know that..

and to Nikkey... buddy, you know what im gonna say.. you know me too well.. you saw me grow along with Molly and Paolo.. thanks for all that.. now that it's you who needs a friend to get past this pain, you've got one right here.. i love you, old friend...

sleep well guys..

P.S. good luck sa mga kukuha ng ACET later in the morning, afternoon, and on Sunday..

"Could You Be Messiah"

my heart could never feel this intense... let this be the song that echoes the cry of my soul.. the song that made me oblivious to the world, leaving only my whole being and the One who created me, loved me, cared for me, comforted me, and became a father, brother, healer, friend, Savior...

Could You be healer
To a heart that's been wounded
In a battle that's never seen
Could You be teacher
To a mind of confusion
Tell me what does this all mean

Are You deliverer
Of an imprisoned feeling in chains
Can You set my spirit free
And just one more question
Allow me this question
Could You be Messiah to me
Could You be Messiah to me

Could You be father
To a soul that's been abandoned
By a world too busy to hear
Could You be friend
To a helpless survivor
Can You take away my fears

I heard them all sharing
This newfound conviction in them
Are You all that they make You to be
And just one more question
Allow me this question
Could You be Messiah to me
Please be Messiah to me

Now i've been looking for someone like You
And i'm so tired, i'm tired
I've read every book and i've sang every song
My mind maybe right but my heart feels so wrong
Tell me how much further can my life go along
Which way do the roads lead where do I belong...

Are You forgiver
Of my most unknown secrets
Provider of all that I need
Could You be brother
The one who knows better
Would You now stand in the lead

When all this is over all the thunder and lightning
In the daylight just what will I see
The answers to my questions, to all of my questions
Could You be Messiah to me
Could You be Messiah to me
Could You be Messiah
Please be Messiah to me...

may today's unforeseen event be etched in my heart for as long as i may live..

i love You, Father.. i beg You , stay and never leave me.. even though i may forget, remind me of the most vulnerable of my moments, wherein You reached out to me, softly and gently telling me to come back home to You..

tumatakbo ang oras, naiiwan na ako ng panahon.

..............

straight from the ovens of Chan studios...

comes the first EVER full recording, "Masilayan" whose words and music are composed by yours truly and arranged by yours truly and my best friend/classmate...

guitars: ako.
bass: ako.
vocals: ako.
drums: jamon.
piano: jamon.

in short, we recorded this sa bahay nya, using his computer, on a multi-track software...

the lyrics are posted... it's like the previous entry... heeheehee...XP

ciao guys.....

exam's over! par-tay!!!!